Don’t Wait to Ask for Help: You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

There’s a funny thing about taking on a new role: you often don’t realize what you don’t know until you’re already in the middle of it.

As an expectant mother, I eagerly read all the books about pregnancy. I followed along as each chapter detailed my baby’s growth and development, convinced that if I read enough and prepared enough, I would know what to expect.

Then the baby arrived.

And I suddenly realized there was an entire shelf of books I had neglected to read.

There I was, home from the hospital with a newborn, my husband back at work, and absolutely no idea what I was doing. I was the first of my friends to become a parent, and I knew immediately that this new job — motherhood — was completely outside my existing skill set.

I needed reinforcements (and so did my new daughter). And fast.

The same thing can happen in fundraising.

T

he role of Development Director can be daunting under the best of circumstances. You might be expected to understand fundraising strategy, donor relationships, communications, events, grants, data, prospect research, stewardship, board engagement, and so much more.

When you are the whole team, the pressure to have all the answers can be even greater.

But here’s the thing: you don’t have to know everything.

In fact, if you’re stepping into a new fundraising role and everything feels familiar, you may not yet have discovered the parts of the job that are new to you.

How do you know when you don’t know what you don’t know?

Sometimes it’s obvious. You’re staring at a grant requirement you’ve never encountered before, trying to figure out how to build a development plan from scratch, or wondering how on earth you’re supposed to engage a board member who has never participated in fundraising.

Other times, the warning signs are quieter:

• You’re spending hours trying to figure out a process that someone else could explain in 15 minutes.

• You’re unsure whether something is a fundraising “best practice” or simply the way your organization has always done it.

• You’re avoiding a task because you don’t feel confident about the next step.

• You’re making a decision without knowing what questions you should be asking.

• You’re looking at a spreadsheet, report, proposal, or donor situation and thinking, “I feel like I’m missing something.”

That last feeling is often worth paying attention to.

You don’t need to wait until something goes wrong to ask for help.

Build your reinforcements before you need them.

Once I got the mothering thing somewhat under control, I learned that one of the most important things I could do was build a network of people I could turn to.

The same is true in fundraising.

Start with your colleagues. Professional associations, peer networks, and nonprofit colleagues can be invaluable sources of advice. Sometimes the best resource is simply someone who has faced the same situation and can say, “Yes, I’ve been there. Here’s what I did.”

Take advantage of local educational opportunities. Here in Palm Beach County, organizations such as Nonprofits First provide programming, training, and opportunities to connect with other nonprofit professionals. Continuing education isn’t just about adding another credential to your résumé — it’s about expanding the toolbox you can draw from when a new challenge appears.

Bring in a consultant when you need one. There are times when the smartest thing a Development Director can do is call someone with specialized expertise. Whether you need help developing a fundraising strategy, preparing for a campaign, strengthening your grant program, evaluating your development operation, or tackling a specific challenge, bringing in outside expertise can save time, prevent costly mistakes, and help you build your own skills along the way.

And, of course, reach out to Team Kat & Mouse.

Sometimes you need a sounding board. Sometimes you need a specific resource, template, strategy, or introduction. And sometimes you just need someone to help you figure out what questions you should be asking.

That’s part of the work we do.

Asking for help is part of being a strong Development Director.

This week, I’m learning how to ask for help in a new setting as I support my mother through a new set of medical treatments. The language of spinal fractures is well beyond my area of expertise — but I have an assortment of resources on speed dial, and I’m not afraid to use them.

Why would fundraising be any different?

Your organization deserves a Development Director who knows how to recognize when something is outside their current experience — and who is confident enough to find the right resource.

So as you tackle your next new fundraising adventure, don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed. Don’t wait until you’ve made a mistake. And definitely don’t assume that because you’re the Development Director, you’re supposed to have every answer.

You don’t know what you don’t know. And that’s okay.

What matters is knowing how to find out.

If there’s a part of your development work that feels daunting, unfamiliar, or just plain confusing, reach out to Team Kat & Mouse. We’re happy to help you think through the challenge, point you toward resources, or connect you with the expertise you need to keep moving forward.

Because even when you are the whole development team, you don’t have to do it alone.